Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Angels: The Vampires of 2011


I usually manage to hit a trend before it comes. Note, that when I originally wrote with Linda Campbell as Terry Campbell, romantic comedy wasn’t “in,” yet just a year after we released our books, all the editors were asking us, “Why didn’t you submit to us?” (this happened, honestly) Then we had a time-travel set in the civil war period. Two no-nos. Guess what? Time-travel is now on the upsurge. Yay! This time the book re-releases as a debut book from Black Opal Books on February 11th. Check out Craigs’ Legacy (book cover at the end of this blog).

But, right now, I want to talk about angels. We should have known they were going to be a trend. I mean, vampires are always in black—angels in white, right? So the pendulum swings…There is a twist. People seem drawn to the fallen angel, the one who wants redemption.

Daryn Cross has a book, Walk Right In, coming out from L&L Dreamspell in October and its sequel Walk Right Back, in January 2012. I mentioned this once before in an interview and everyone asked me about these books more than the one I was writing about. There is interest. As usual, my angels are a bit comedic and bungling. But the demons are menacing and the risks real. I do have a fallen angel as well who needs to redeem himself. He’s dropped in to a human’s body and they’re living quite a dual life.

Let me know what you see regarding the trend of angels. I know Nalini Singh has a series going on. Where else do you see this trend, and what do you think of it?

Craigs' Legacy debuting February 11, 2011, electronic formats--print to follow.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Terry Campbell backlist on Kindle








Most of my current readers know I wrote for many years with a co-writer as Terry Campbell. Our backlist of romantic comedies is now available on Kindle for $2.99 each. Want to laugh? I think that's worth $2.99. Check them out. The best way to find them is at this link:
http://tinyurl.com/37wj3t2

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Wish Upon a Star

Once upon a time there was a cybernetic organism named Peter Pinocchio. Peter preferred the name cyborg, as he considered himself to be more than the typical cyborg and far more than a man that was electronically manufactured. However, Gina Geppetto, his maker, was fond of reminding him he was, after all, her creation. Peter dared to differ with her, for he was sure he was a creation of the universal mind of imagination, a powerful force far beyond only Gina’s capabilities. He did, after all, have powers greater than hers. He was sure he had only tapped a few. But she always could be expected to task him with mundane daily duties and never really allowed him to go beyond his basest talents.

Peter dreamed he could one day be all-human, but with his current super-human qualities. He knew what he wished was nothing but a dream, but his best friend, Jimminy Android convinced him it was possible. “When you wish upon a star your dreams come true,” he told Peter.

Maybe in another time and pace,” he said. “But not in what’s left of war-torn Nevada.”

“Even here,” Jimminy said. “Bob told me so.”

“Bob?”

He nodded. The fairy who assigned me to you.”

“I never knew you were assigned.”

He cocked his head sideways. “Do you really think I’d take care of you just because?”

Peter sighed in exasperation. Jimminy was forever pulling his leg. “So who is this Bob fairy person?”

He grinned. “He’s blue. Folks say he’s a Martian, but he claims he’s only been typecast and actually comes from Ceres. But he’s a fairy all right, as gay as they come. Still, he has the power to grant wishes.”

I nodded. “To each his own, Jimminy. I’m not into any kind of discrimination. After all, I’m considered substandard as a cyborg. I find it most devastating, as I am in love with Gina.”

Jimminy frowned. “Oh my, if you’re wishing for Gina, I’m not sure even Bob can grant your wish.”

A tall blue man with pointed ears walked around the corner. “My ears were burning. Were you talking about my granting a wish?”

Peter nodded. “Jimminy says you can make me a real man.”

Bob grinned. “So I can. But if I do, you need to prove you can be honest loyal and faithful.”

Peter patted his chest. “No problem. I am not programmed to lie or to stray from those who have been good to me.” He leaned forward. “Do you think I could make Gina fall in love with me?”

Bob’s eyebrow arched. “That’s a tall order. Let’s see how you do on the other part first.”

He waved his hand and Peter lurched as his electronic parts vanished and he stood before them, knowing he now had a beating heart instead of a mechanical valve system. Peter ran to the mirror and held his hand to his face. “I look similar, but there’s something about my skin. That must be blood flushing my cheeks.”

Bob nodded. “Other things flush also. You will feel stirrings you haven’t before.”

Peter cocked his head sideways. Whatever did he mean? “What do I need to do now to prove myself?”

Pointing, Bob smiled again. “Go to Pleasure Island of course. If you can remain honest loyal and faithful there, you can do it anywhere.”

“But Bob.” Jimminy trembled. “It is forbidden for anyone to go to Pleasure Island, for no one emerges who isn’t corrupt.”

Bob nodded. “So they say. That’s why it’s such a great test of Peter’s determination.”

After a week on Pleasure Island, Peter was exhausted. Jimminy had long since given up on him, for Peter had relished in all the island’s delights. He’d been amazed at how lavishly a real man could live. Just think, there was a never-ending buffet, wine and liquor and, most of all, women. Who’d have known the last item could be so enticing? It wasn’t disloyal of him to learn how to have sex, was it? After all, it would only make him a better lover for Gina. He had to admit, though, it was becoming more difficult with some, for something happened when he lied. He looked down at the crotch of his pants. If it got any longer he wouldn’t be able to zip it inside. He’d decided he had to tell the truth from here on out.

While in the middle of an all-night card game, Peter turned to see Jimminy standing next to him. Jimminy’s eyes looked frightened and distant. “Peter, Gina came looking for you, and a band of pirates in a hovercraft captured her. She’s being held captive on the Jolly Whale.”

Peter threw down his cards. “We have to get to her. Even if I have ruined my chances for ever making her fall in love with me, probably ruined them for staying a man if I go back, I must risk it. I cannot let her die.”

Early the next morning, just before the sun rose, Peter scaled the side of the Jolly Whale. He knocked the guard unconscious. Quickly he sneaked around front of the craft. There, tied to a pole, was his own sweet love, Gina, her long golden hair gleaming down her shoulders like the sun’s own rays. Her eyes widened as she saw him silently stride toward her. Taking a knife he had in his pocket, he sliced through her bindings. “I cannot believe how barbaric these men must be,” he whispered, “For them to use such old-fashioned methods in this day and age. Are you okay?”

She nodded. “Let’s get out of here.”

As they turned, a huge Gigantitron stood there in all of its glory, towering at least twelve feet over them. “You’re not going anywhere, mosquito,” the machine boomed.

“I will not let you harm her.” Peter placed his body between Gina and the Gigantitron.

The machine picked him up in its clawed hand and threw him in the lake’s deep water. Peter struggled, but the force of the fall had knocked all life out of him. As he sank below the murky depths, he closed his eyes and thanked Bob for at least allowing him to show Gina how much he loved her…

Thrashing with his arms to climb out of the darkness, Peter felt hands caressing his chest. “It’s okay, Peter. It’s okay.”

He opened his eyes to see Gina’s face swimming above his. “Where am I?”

Gina smiled and rubbed his forehead. “At the cottage. We placed you on your bed.”

His eyes focused. “It is my bed. But how?” He suddenly saw the faint outline of blue, Bob the fairy hovering above him.

“You deserved your wish Peter.” Bob vanished with a smile.

Gina kissed his lips. “Oh Peter, I’ve always loved you. When I made you I wished upon a star you could become a real man.”

Peter kissed her back. “I will always be true to you and we will be very happy.”

And they were. For Gina never complained about Peter’s previous small bout of lying.

THE END

Monday, December 13, 2010

Crazy Holiday Blogfest!

I'm glad you folks could drop by today! This is one of many blogs in today's blogfest. Click on the picture to the right to see who is participating and each name will lead you to a different blog.

Here's my excerpt from the latest WIP, This Magic Moment, the sequel to It's Magic. See the cover below my excerpt. NOTE: Maxwell Magic has his work cut out for him to turn the tide on this hero.

“It’s dead and the only way you can save it is resurrection.”

“But, for crying out loud, Zack! It’s Christmas Eve!”

“So what? We’ve got one month until the Super Bowl and our commercial’s flat.”

Zack Graham, strode toward the elevators. Staring at Mike Kramer, he wondered what was wrong with his cousin and VP of sales. The guy was acting like a green exec, not a man who’d weathered the worst on their way up the ladder.

Mike pulled to a stop beside him in front of the closed doors and glared at him. “It’s fixable.”

“Fixable?”

Mike stood there, his face twitching out of control. If Zack didn’t know better he’d have sworn the guy had a disorder. He shook his head in concern. Mike was coming unglued. Stress was something few people could handle like he could. The kid… Zack winced, silently correcting himself. The twenty-five-year-old man should be able to handle things better than this. He let out a deep breath as Mike finally nodded.

“Yeah, fixable.”

Zack whistled. “Get with the program. Right now it doesn’t have a pulse. And if we don’t figure out how to resuscitate it, more than a million’s flushed down the toilet.”

“What do you want to do?” Mike threw his arms out wide in that over-exaggerated gesture he made.

“Get downstairs to marketing, now, and kick some ass.”

The doors of the elevators opened. At the sight of the full elevator, Zack started to count. At three, he waved it on. He couldn’t help being claustrophobic. Too many bodies made his skin crawl. Lord knew when an almost empty one would show up.

“Why not let the marketing department work on it by itself?”

Cringing at Mike’s desperate tone, Zack turned and fixed on him with a laser-sharp gaze. “You can’t trust anything to get done unless you stay on top of it, especially in this season of good cheer and idle carelessness.”



Commenters will be entered for a chance at a free download of It's Magic.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Remember to be Thankful at Thanksgiving

As Thanksgiving nears, we need to stop and reflect on all the things we’re thankful for. So here are my own personal thanks.

I am thankful for friends I can count on to brighten my day, a nice house to live in and a husband who loves me and tells me so during television commercials as he’s flipping the remote control. I’m even thankful for my dog who was a goat in a previous life and ultra thankful I got to her last night before she ate hubby’s box of Ex-Lax. I’m thankful for family members who will tell me how much they love my books and wait to get them for presents only to set them on the bookshelf telling people I wrote it but who never crack the binding. I am thankful to the postman who rarely loses my mail except when it’s a letter from an editor or my new contract. I am thankful for the countless agents I’ve contacted and the nice way they say no by sending me a form letter rejecting my manuscript. Those whose e-mails didn’t get to me after several months, never fear, I know you e-mailed me, but it was simply lost in cyberspace. And to those sending me rejections by mail, I appreciate the time it took for you to put that postcard in my SASE envelope, IF it got to me because it could be one my postman simply misplaced.

There are so many blessings around us all the time like those my friends ask me to send out to my twenty friends or I’ll be cursed. I know they only mean well. After all, my true wish will become reality in twenty-four hours if I do. I also appreciate all those who send me warnings so I can avoid being mugged, defrauded or have ten years of bad luck and who forward e-mails that will win me a new computer from Dell or an IPod if I forward it, even if they don’t check Snopes.com before they sent it. But most of all, dear friend, I appreciate your taking time to read this and if your post doesn’t show up, I understand you commented, but the website wouldn’t let your post go through.

May your Thanksgiving be filled with thanks and wellbeing! And remember: No matter what genre, I always write comedy.

Friday, November 19, 2010



The Pressure to Find the Right Gift

If my photo on this blog looks familiar, that's because I'm Bobbye Terry writing as Daryn Cross, my fantasy pseudonym. If you started at the beginning of the Blog Hop, you know my current hubby's present was, well, less than what every woman wants. But, before I was engaged to my current husband, I was engaged once before. That fiance loved to be outside but wasn't quite as much of an outdoorsman as my husband. We fell into a routine after we got engaged where he'd come to my apartment for dinner and dessert and then we'd go out for awhile, or not. The or not wasn't what you'd normally think, at least not all the time.

First let me give you a little background. I was in my gourmet cooking phase. I still love to cook, but back then I was obsessed with Bon Appetit magazine, had a subscription and saved all the copies. Everytime I got one, I had a big cooking extravaganza on the weekend and my fiance was always there to try the new dishes. Later I decided it was because it saved him money on groceries. Anyway, more often than not, he'd fall asleep on my sofa afterwards watching television while I did the dishes. Now do you know why this relationship didn't last?

Christmas was coming, and I had gone all out for his gift. expecting (yes, always the romantic) something I'd really love.

Here's what I got:


(In case you don't reconize it, this is what a pressure cooker used to look like before modern technology took over.)

Thursday, November 18, 2010

More Great News

My book, Craigs' Legacy, a time travel to the Civil War period co-written with Linda Campbell as Terry Campbell, will be re-released on February 11, 2011 as a debut book by new publisher, Black Opal Books. This book started it all, though not the first one to get published, and is one that has never had the proper opportunity to shine. Love it and hope you folks will too.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Another Contest to Share Good News!

Linda Campbell and I, writing as Terry Campbell, just accepted a contract for our book,Slam Sisters of Serendipty, to be released by Eternal Press! This has been an exciting fall for me, and to celebrate I will give a $10.00 gift card to Amazon to the person selected from a drawing who submits to me at the address Daryn@DarynCross.com the right three answers to these questions:

1) In It's Magic, what is Santa's real name?
2) Where does Grace Martin(not Grace Temple)find the dead body?
3) What book did I contract last week?

These answers can be found on two of my websites and my mystery blog. Addresses are as follows:

www.DarynCross.com, www.TerryCampbell.com, and www.BobbyeTerry.Blogspot.com. Clue: for the first two, check the book trailers...

Good luck and happy hunting!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Coming Soon from L&L Dreamspell

Short story in Dreamspell Romance Volume 1, to be released soon. Enjoy the trailer.

After deciding she’s had enough of trying to find true love and ending up with true misery, Grace Temple takes desperate measures. She’s ready to pin her hopes on baking a chocolate seduction cake and casting a goddess spell. Maybe this time she’ll get what she really wants: Mr. Wonderful

Monday, November 8, 2010

Now that's a Mystery

I read an review the other day that said most fantasies don’t have a mystery in them, and I began to wonder about that. I’m not sure that’s true, because to me it seems most fantasies have the hero/heroine searching for something. If they don’t know what it is, isn’t that a mystery? Even in my romantic comedies, the main characters are searching for a fundamental truth.

But, I have noticed as I write more straight mystery novels and turn to higher adventure fantasies, that the two become inexplicably combined in my fantasies (maybe a touch of magic even shows up in my mysteries).

In an upcoming series that I have, strange things start to happen and even the earth angels involved can’t figure out how they’re occurring. For instance, what’s going on when a car appears to have driven by itself, no driver, or when lions suddenly appear in the back yard. What’s with the huge buzzard that keeps crashing into windshields? Then there’s the mysterious question of why the main character’s mother-in-law is being guarded by an archangel.

In my latest co-written work, It’s Magic, released this month, the hero and heroine are searching for a love that has evaded them their whole lives. More importantly, they are searching for that one thing that will make them truly happy in their own skin. At the beginning, neither person is filled with wonder but beaten down by everyday life. To make matters even more interesting, mysterious things begin to happen, like everyone seemingly knowing what they’re doing all the time. How? Snakes not indigenous to the US also show up in Virginia and suddenly all the condoms are missing in Chesterfield County. Who could be behind all the mysterious occurrences they are now experiencing?

Piqued your interest? It’s Magic is available any day now. The other series I mentioned will be out late next year. You can read more about it and others on my website, www.DarynCross.com . For now, just remember that if someone says there’s no mystery in fantasy, you can ask them if they know how it will end when they begin. Not that’s a mystery.

Happy Monday!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

New Short Stories out in E-anthologies!

Linda Campbell and I, under our pseudonym, Terry Campbell, have two stories out today on All Romance Ebooks, released through L&L Dreamspell. They will be out in other formats soon, i.e., Kindle Nook, iPad. Check them out:

"Man in the Moon,"
Dreamspell Mystery Volume 1 (ebook anthology)
http://www.lldreamspell.com/DreamspellMysteryVol1.htm
http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-dreamspellmysteryvolume1-477918-152.html


"12 Perfect Days,"
Dreamspell Haunts Volume 1 (ebook anthology)
http://www.lldreamspell.com/DreamspellHauntsVol1.htm
http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-dreamspellhauntsvolume1-477920-140.html

Video trailers of both are up at www.TerryCampbell.com

Happy Halloween--------from some of Daryn Cross' Critters



Friday, October 29, 2010

Character Overload

I was hit yesterday with a severe case of character overload. If you’re a writer, I know this has happened to you. It may even happen to a reader if you read several books at the same time. How do you do that last thing, you ask? I don’t have a clue, but one of my friends says she does, so I doubt she’s alone. Anyway, my definition of character overload is a condition in which all the characters you have, whether in books being edited, in the work you’re currently writing or who are plotted and awaiting their opportunity for the turn of your pen (or computer keystroke), begin to war in your mind for dominance.

When this happens to me, I find myself balanced on a piece of threadlike wire, hopping from thought to thought and unable to settle down and make noticeable progress in one project, ANY project. Yesterday, Editor 1 sent me a proof to go over one last time in the middle of my doing front edits for Editor Number 2. Five minutes after Editor number 1 set me the proof, a potential Editor Number 3 sent me a note saying she loves my book and please send the whole manuscript. Then there’s the proposal I just sent off to a potential Agent Number 1 re: yet another work.

I doubt I’ll ever have Alzheimer’s because my mind gets a great work out. I may, however, end up with one heck of a case of multiple personality disorder. So, as a result of all this, it’s time to sit back and entertain you with a fractured harried married writer poem, Character Uprising.

CHARACTER UPRISING

My characters are not too pleased,
With whom I’ve written them to be,
They’ve been grumbling, and they might
Form a union, go on strike.

It seems my hero thinks I’ve goofed,
By showing he’s a bit aloof,
My heroine wants to have big breasts,
Now she has a small flat chest.

The other beings moan and wail,
They claim there’s not enough detail,
And all of them agree they’re not,
Happy with my crafted plot.

My hero says that he will fight,
Until I make him more a knight,
My heroine has clammed right up.
Until she’s curvy, she won’t budge.

And as for all the rest of them,
They’re plotting wildly, full of vim
And vigor, certain they can steal,
My story, make it seem quite real.

And there I sit and cannot write
Because they finally went on strike,
Crushed, I give up, let them tell
Me how to write them so they’ll sell.

The moral of this all you see,
Is let your story be set free,
Ask the people in your tale,
To write themselves, and you won’t fail.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

New interview up!

Come join me at:
http://blog.JulieALindsey.com

Learn about me, my characters and more!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

How to Have Magic in Life Everyday

At the beginning of the book, IT’S MAGIC, there’s a short prologue in which the mysterious magical matchmaker, Maxwell Magic, speaks to the reader explaining that adults no longer believe and dream like children. He goes on to speak about everyday magic, the simple pleasure of smelling the air after a summer rain, the tingle of excitement from a cool breeze off the ocean, the delight in tasting freshly fallen snow. How do you have magic in your life everyday? Here are my top ten suggestions:

10. Don’t anticipate, be spontaneous. If you plan too much it ruins the magic. Okay, so you’re a planner. At least write down my ten things and post them on your car dash. Then, in the middle of errands etc., just do one of the things on the list (uh, don’t do it while driving, okay?)

9. Have dessert first, or better yet, go to a restaurant and just order dessert (even if you’re on a diet, once will not hurt).

8. Take a disadvantaged person to the movies.

7. Buy a book in the bookstore for someone in line, or tell the person at the drive-through, you’re paying for a latte, burger, chicken dinner whatever for the next driver. Don’t do drive-through? Drive-through anyway and pay for whatever for the person behind you.

6. Walk through the grass barefoot.

5. Read a book from a genre you’ve never read before.

4. Go on a picnic lunch (Too cold? So? Dress warmly and have an insulated carrier—OR have the picnic lunch inside on the floor.

3. Meditate outside for twenty minutes (the quieter the place the better).

2. Go on a long walk or a bike ride.

1. Spend a night at home with someone special and no television or computer.

You’ll be surprised how much better you feel after you break from your routine and see life through a brand new set of filters. It is, after all, magic!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

I Have a New Cover!



The publishers say this book, co-written by L.J. DeLeon and me, will be in electronic format prerelease in a few days. I'll let you know when and announce a special promotion.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

IT'S MAGIC Release November 2010



Here's a description of the story line:
Can true love exist between a man who believes a woman is capable of sticking a shive in his heart while making love and a woman who is convinced men think with only one head? Maxwell Magic, an eccentric mysterious matchmaker swears it can and he’s the man to provide the stimulus to make it happen. Kasey Bell, feminist writer, and Guy McLane, radio’s famous chauvinistic psychiatrist, are his targets. Even with carefully executed plans, the road to true love is strewn with mishaps, mirth and money-hungry nighttime talk show hosts. Will Kasey and Guy risk their reputations by exposing secrets buried beneath layers of shame and self-doubt for a desperately needed big money pay-off? Or, will they claim what has evaded them their entire lives—a love that lasts forever?

Excerpt:
As Kasey followed the stagehand, Guy grimaced. Damn. Why’d she have to have sea-green eyes and be a natural, sun-streaked blonde? He was a sucker for natural blondes, she appeared to be one. Unlike his ex, Helen, he suspected Kasey Bell’s blonde hair wasn’t found just on her head.

His gaze took in her tight ass and long legs. God, what legs Some men were turned-on by big breasts. Others by asses. Not him. He was a leg man through and through. And Kasey had the best set he’d seen in years.

Her dress clung in all the right places and was designed to make a man forget his own name. Not that it had a chance with him.

Guy studied her the way a connoisseur would a fine wine. Vintage seventy-three. He took another long, slow perusal and shook his head. He was wrong. The body on this Cabernet Sauvignon came from a perfect year. More likely a seventy-eight or if he were lucky, a classic seventy-five.

He grinned as she smoothed the sides of her dress while continuing to cross the stage on her perfectly toned legs.

Definitely still corked. She hadn’t had a chance to breathe, yet. He inhaled sharply. There was no mistaking a good mellow grape when he saw one. And when squeezed just right, the grape was memorable. One to be savored, never gulped.

No question about it, Ms. Kasey Bell was premium sipping quality. First, he’d give her time to breathe. Then he’d taste her, a little at a time, a gentle swirl over the tongue, a teasing of the taste buds.

As he continued to examine her, Guy swallowed hard. From the way her dress moved and the lack of lines, she wore a thong and thigh-high hose. Her derriere was the perfect size for his hands to cup each cheek as he pulled her flush against him. He could feel her long legs wrapping around him. And then there were her delicate ankles. They were so slim his fingers could circle them.

The whole package was enough to bring a grown man to his knees. Especially one like him who’d been alone for last three years. God, help him. Because if he didn’t, Guy knew there was no way he’d maintain his cool while seated next to her on stage.

“Dr. McLane?”

Guy snapped to attention. Standing before him were two lanky young men. “Yes.”
“I’m Josh Bell. This is my younger brother Jacob.”

Guy thrust out his hand and greeted each boy. “I understand you want to take some photos.”

“Yes, sir,” Josh answered.

“You’re our hero.”

Jacob frowned at Josh’s sharp jab to his ribs and Guy laughed. “What does your mother think of that?” He grinned as the two boys looked at each other, shrugged, then turned back to him.

“She hates it,” they said together.

“Dr. McLane, you’ve got two minutes.”

“Thanks, Al.” He turned to the boys. “We’d better get those photos taken.”
Guy started to move, then grimaced, again. Damn. He hadn’t reacted to a female this rapidly since adolescence. Back then, much to his embarrassment, all it’d taken was a slight breeze to get a reaction out of him. And at thirty-eight, the last thing he wanted was to look like a coat rack in some kids’ photos. “Both of you stand here,” he said, positioning the boys in front of him.

As Al Mack took more than a dozen photos, Guy wondered what it was about Kasey Bell that rang his chimes. They’d never met, yet he’d swear he’d seen her before.
Ah, well, he’d remember eventually. He never forgot a pair of legs, especially ones as spectacular as Kasey’s.